Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day (and some good advice from moms)

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms. Mine imparted to me a few feminine fashion jewels, which I follow religiously, and wish that others would, too, so I'd like to share them with you, especially since this is a blog headquartered in Milan, Italy's fashion capital.

1. The higher the heel...the longer the skirt (or the image you project may be suitable only for practitioners of the 'world's oldest profession').

2. The higher the heel...the shorter the step (or you will galumph like a cowboy).

3. Your hose should always be a lighter color than your shoes, or at least more or less the same (dark hose and light shoes just looks plain bad).

So, enough already with the serious advice. If you want a giggle, here's a list of sayings we've all heard from our mothers, and the fundamental lessons we have been able to draw from them. You may have seen the list, already, but it's always funny (because oh so true!):...More......

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing, and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth, and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world, who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it, when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

I snapped this photo in 2005, and this lovely lady just happened to be in the background. Have no idea who she is, but her dress is fantastic. A Little Black (Stern) Dress relieved with a surprising deep V-cut with a bit of lace on the back, and a perfect hemline for someone with those shoes and her legs.

(Happy birthday, Mom! Years ago, I designed and embroidered the first initial of my mother's name. If you'd like to see it, go to:


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the birthday greetings, much appreciated! Enjoyed the blog, also...Mom

Margaret said...

Wow! That mother had a lot to teach. Personally, I stick with flats.

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